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born_curious
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Name: Esther
Birthday: 11/12/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: God, laughing, reading mystery books, political cartoons (mm.. delicious), wrapping boxes in pretty wrapping paper and ribbons, people with a great sense of humor, questioning reasons for people's beliefs - I'm such a sophist, being awake in the morning before the rest of the world wakes up. It's so serene.
Expertise: not pushing life till later.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Engineering
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
2/17/2003
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| This is a shot out to all my fellow seniors graduating in the next two semesters. You feel me
Even if the economy didn't suck and the job market wasn't non-existent, we'd still be peeing in our pants wondering how we'll ever attain a job that will bring meaning or fulfillment or satisfaction. Now, I'm just trying to get any job or go to grad school. Of course if I have to take out a loan for grad school and the economy gets worse.... talk about backfire.
I've been trying to think of all the pros and cons of leaving college and going out into the world. Maybe movies like "Office Space" and "American Beauty" didn't get it right. Maybe suburban disillusionment isn't something that will drain the life out of me. Maybe there's something to look forward to. So here's what I've compiled thus far.
Pros of working: no homework, no studying for tests, no dorm food, $$$, independence, free weekends, new community, happy hour can finally apply to me
Cons of working: 50 hour work week (minimum- forget 40, that was so last decade), little flexibility if you're working 8 to 5, bills- energy, water, rent, food, transportation, people are no longer catering to your betterment, your friends are not all in one building
And so, with these things in mind..... I still face THE crisis. The only thing I know for sure is if I dont keep taking steps, I'll be in the same spot I was yesterday. and the day before. and the day before.
hollaaaaaaa
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| I recently returned from Malawi, Africa.
I feel guilty.
I'm not experiencing... culture shock.
I'm going back into the same spending habits.
the same habits period.
but I did learn things about myself. things in general.
They just had nothing to do with Africa.
well I guess some did. like the idea of adoption.
the idea that if you're pro-life, the moral judgment should have consequences to how you live.
like perhaps adopting one of the children who would've been aborted but now are left abandoned.
hm.
But a lot of what I learned had to do with my relationships. my past. my future.
my identity. my worth.
you'll see a different me.
maybe you won't realize.
but you'll be staring in the face of someone you've never seen before.
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| I'm not here to lecture, but goodness gracious- can't we all just get along?!
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| My mama said, my m-mama said -Life is just one suitcase to another. Sometimes, we think we've found a stability because we're living inside one, but nothing lasts forever- no matter how well you've organized your socks. Moving from my dorm to home to Chapter Focus week to home to Indiana, I've been reduced to living off what I can find in packed boxes (there are so many pleasant surprises and great finds) and clothes that are still left wrinkled in suitcases. Nothing seems settled. When I go to Indiana to live with three girls I barely know, I plan to sleep on an air mattress, live off one table, and reduce my already low standard of living. Nothing is settled. Perhaps, it's worse as a college student, but maybe it's just an exaggerated version of... life. because... everything's temporary. Living in the moment, however, I find myself easily forgetting the quick pace and changes living tends to elicit. Take, for example, fashion trends. Let us consider low-cut socks, because that's something both sexes can relate to, and how low-cut socks have become the new in-thing to wear. Well, it's easy to imagine changing one's entire sock collection so that one does not look dumb wearing certain pairs of, say, Vans shoes. But I'm going to tell you guys a secret. At some point in senior year of highschool, I became very fond of buying socks. and yes, the fashionable low-cut-super-stud kind. and let me tell you, while one pair of socks is cheap- it adds up. I was addicted. Everytime I went to a store that sold socks, I always had to buy some. I bragged to all my friends that I didn't have to do laundry for weeks because of my glorious socks. That's when I started to lose them. Slowly they disappeared to whereever the place that all lost miscellaneous items tend to gather. Perhaps running away with dust bunnies on exotic adventures never again to return to their distraught masters. I digress. The point is- WHY? Why what? [good question, dear reader]. The question is why do we chase after the temporary as if it were permanent? like fashion trends, the ideal body, what we see, fame, glory, power, money. When pharoahs died and were buried with treasures, did they think they could take it with them? Because I'm pretty sure grave robbers got to most of it. But we spend all our resources and time chasing pretty rainbows. The perfect body for only $39.95 a bottle, a flirty top at Express for $49.99, countless hours invested in finding and attaining the perfect job for a perfectly finite amount of time. Dear friends and "friends", we are visitors. | | |
| Working at Grainger is nice. Most of the time, I just sit here or do some hwk. but man-- it's so nice outside. i hate studying. and I'm too unmotivated to do anything else. I've been feeling pretty frustrated about some things lately. Like getting things done on time, finals studying, people to meet up with, conversations to be had. Caring about people is DIFFICULT. Love is not just a word, and to say I love someone says a lot. 1st Corinthians 13: Love is patient; love is kind. Those are only the first 2 words! I hope that as I lead a small group for International Friendship Link, I'll be able to keep those things in mind. Prayer is greatly appreciated. but love extends past just small group and Intervarsity. It should exude in everything we do, bearing each other in mind.
The reason I'm writing this at all is actually a call for prayer. I'll be gone to Indiana over summer, and I hope to start a small group with other Cummins interns or at least find a small group. I hope God will bless the summer and still allow me to witness to the community there. Please pray for courage, a heart of love, and to find a Christian community there.
Prayer is not just a bunch of pretty words. God is way more powerful than we can be. | | |
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